at what point do you give up?

At what point do you give up? 
At what point do you concede that your faith was fabricated and your hope a hallucination? 
That you created a delusion of your destination? 
When do you recognize the real of reality? 
All these trials and tribulations a trajedy? 
Tragic. Your methods drastic? 

In my loneliness, it’s like a dark summer night with a lowly mist. Forever feeling near but somehow always missed. Grabbing at the air with only vanity found in fists. 

Am I crazy because in the face of all this opposition I maintain the course? 

That even if my voice betrays me and my throat remains coarse, I look to the heavens and become inspired by the stars trusting God despite so much darkness surrounding them. 

How can I explain to you that my heart fails, my soul in shambles, heart broken yet somehow God won’t allow me to give up? 

My questions are questioned. Rediculed a fool if I think that in these things I would give up. 

How long o Lord? How long must I take counsel within my own soul? Yet I lift mine eyes up to the hills from whence my help comes from…with you shall I contend. My Lord and my Maker. In the darkest distress. In you I find the coolest of comfort. 

Thank You my God. My Father. My Love…